A Prayer for the Devil
by Casamyriln
Summary: Your name is Dave Strider sex god— your title and job description. Well maybe not a sex god, more along the lines of a sex demon. But the life of a devil is unironically lonely and you don't know if you can deal with it anymore. Oneshot Parallel to my other story Better the Devil you Know from Daves POV. Can be read first or after but is best when read alongside the original story


Your name is Dave Strider sex god— your title and job description. Well maybe not a sex god, more along the lines of a sex demon. But the life of a devil is unironically lonely and you don't know if you can deal with it anymore.

== Jump to earlier and make more sense

It is now earlier in the day, which for you means two in the afternoon. A particularly loud door slam from the apartment next door finally wakes you up from your slumber. Tossing and turning you try futilely to reclaim the sleep you were just rudely shaken from. But its no use, you're up and that's how its going to stay sadly.

Feeble sunlight oozes from your half shut blinds barely illuminates your dim room, but it made no difference to you—light or pitch dark—either way you saw perfectly. Even bright sun was no match for you, along with the pair of sunglasses that never left your side. Which were not actually at your sides at the moment, whatever, they couldn't of gone too far.

Shuffling you make your way to your dinky bathroom and flick on the light. Staring back at you from the slightly dingy mirror is your own reflection dominated by your piercing unnatural red eyes. You wished you could say these eyes were but a genetic mutation, like you were an albino or something, anything to rationally explain them. But you cant explain them and you never will be able too.

You weren't what anyone would typically call normal. Not by a long shot. Lucky for you, you were born to the not-so-noble and the not-so-prestigious race of demons called Incubi or Succubi if you were referring to your pair of sisters.

The quick and easy way of it was your kind feed off of humans to live and ingest that energy during sex. Just a bunch of big sexy leeches, that's what you guys were. God that thought would make you love yourself real quick. Oh wait, you were lying. You kind of actually hate yourself.

But away from that topic. So the way you catch your—guh, you don't want to say prey because it always ends up sounding like you hurt them or something, which you can do, but that's a different part of the game—so when you catch your 'lunch' as you call it, it is with these very eyes you hate so much. One locked gaze with your pretty peepers and anyone is as good as yours. Add a few smooth lines and a final glance over your darken shades and they're like putty in your hands.

Truly its not beyond your persuasive power to technically get anything you want: money, power, fame. But no, you choose to stay in this crap one bed and bath apartment. The one place in this whole entire city where you don't have to be David Strider. David Strider. David fucking Strider. You can just, for a few hours at a time be Dave Nothing, Dave Nobody, Dave No-one Cares About, just... normal dave for once.

If only it could be that easy though. A mans got to eat if he doesn't want to die, and no matter how angsty you may get, dying is the last thing on your to do list.

Once again you lock eyes with your mirror-self, grimacing a bit. In this bright lighting you still couldn't pass for a freak human even if you tried—your eyes were slitted like a cats and at the moment were half contracted making them ever farther from human as possible.

Finally breaking eye contact with yourself you busy your hands fixing your short white-blonde hair until it fell into something that at least looked halfway stylish, washing your face, and finally brushing your pearly whites.

Rummaging around the pile of clothes you call a laundry—which happened to be conveniently located in the middle of your bedroom floor—you actually managed to find some clean clothes. A pair of dark jeans and an underground white band tee was good enough for what you had planned. On second thought you find your leather jacket and throw that on too, it may be March but it was still waay to cold for your southern blood.

Now, time to go find you some food.

* * *

Same motions different details. Routine becomes habit, which in turn begets unchanging boredom and stagnation. And stagnation in the end only means death. You think you were dying.

Fuck. Stop thinking like that.

Stop it.

...Fine.

Today would have been a lot easier if you had scheduled a lunch date, but no go, so it seems fast food it was. It happened to be about 3:30 now—so too early for the bars and too late for the lunch crowd, where to check today?

Your train of thought was interrupted from the rich smell wafting from the coffee house you had just walked past. Coffee shop? Good enough, haven't had one from there in a while. Within a few quick steps you found yourself plunged into dim darkness of the cafe, your shades not helping in the least bit, but within a few moments your eyes had adjusted properly and everything was clear once again. You step to the right of the entrance to get a better look at the selection available to you, and you didn't mean the coffee.

It was easy to spot which individuals were single or were what you desired. Your sense of smell was also a great deal of help. With a conscious effort you could smell which person has had sex recently, how frequently, and most importantly if they were clean or not. Sometimes you could even smell their health habits too: how often one showered or brushed, exercised or smoked, these small factors always left loud signals for anyone looking. Thank god you didn't have to look for too long though, you could already feel a headache coming on from your overstimulated brain.

There to the far back left sat a woman, about 23, brunette wavy hair, didn't smoke, and from her business attire some sort of computer or office worker. All good there, and from what else you picked up, clean and has apparently had no sexual contact within the last month or so. Perfect, your lunch is set up, now all that's left is for you to prepare it.

Making your way to the register you order an iced caramel whatever the hell and find your way over to miss brunette.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I sit next to you? That is if you don't mind?"

Two thing you learned real quick in the attraction business were 1) being polite is always sexy and 2) southern accents are also pretty damn sexy. So you were nowhere near surprised when she allowed you to join her at the small table.

After a comfortable moment of silence you began chatting with her, finding out her name and such. Lea as you found out was a secretary for one of the law firms nearby and was currently trying to get her own way through law school as well. Subtly moving the conversation around you also found out that luckily today her boss had let her go early and she seemingly had no pressing engagements to attend to anytime soon, also the fact that she was single was also a great bonus.

Look its not like you'd never been used in a cheating type of relationship before, but if you could, you usually choose to steer clear from those kinds of conflicts whenever possible. It always ended up way more trouble that it was worth, especially with hotheaded boyfriends and their equally hotheaded friends. Though one time you managed sway a trio of them that had tried to jump you, lets just say you came out the victor it that battle.

"Oh that's facinatin' Lea, would you care to show me some of those great law book I know you got back at your place? I could really brush up on my habeas corpus, I'm a bit rusty."

All of that smooth talk was said as you locked eyes with her above the rims of your shades, wrapping her in a trap of lace and silk. By the time your less than innocent comment was done she was yours. Happily and completely, yours.

Eyes already shadowed with budding lust she gave you a stunning smile, more than happy to show you her books and maybe even to give you a private lesson or two, she insisted, it would be her pleasure.

You were drowning in skin, in heat, in desire. Every exhaled breath and throaty moan a musical note to your ears. Her cries of pleasure rise to a forte you control and command, a loud beautiful sound. Easing you bring her back from the brink, not ready to let her fall just yet. Softly you touch and caress her supple skin, reveling in her taste, her heat, in the very things that made her so very human. Once again your mouth finds hers and once again you taste that sweet manna of life. It fills you in a way you wish wouldn't, just one more thing reinforcing what you were not. But you must eat, so you will not waste a drop of it. Like a junky you crave more; her energy, her cries. All of it.

She was your instrument and you the composer. You play her song for hours more until you feel both full and satisfied that you had given her back as much pleasure as you took. No one can tell you you were a selfish lover, if they said that it was only because they were lying and hadn't been with you, just yet.

Quietly walking around the chic uptown apartment you find your hastily discarded clothes and dress silently. Before finally heading out of the door you go back to check on your one night lover. She was deep deep asleep and would most likely wake up the next morning feeling like she might of caught a cold, and left with only a vague recollection of yourself and the activities you two shared. You tuck her under the covers and brush away the hair that had fallen to obscure her face. Once settled you bend over her once more and give her a soft kiss on the forehead, quickly and quietly you leave, as if you had never been.

Because you hadn't, you were but a dream, a vivid beautiful dream, and nothing more.

* * *

Her apartment was luckily not too too far from your own so you headed in for a change of clothes, you stank of sweat and sex and a bit like coffee from where you accidentally spilled it on yourself. Yeah, smooth you know.

You picked out your old comfortable red hoodie with the gears and cogs on it and one of your more holey pair of cargo pants to change into. As much as you would of liked to lay down and chill your body itched with energy. This happened sometimes, like an over filled battery giving off static would be an apt example, luckily it was not much more than an occasional bother for you.

Nothing an evening stroll wouldn't fix, just anything to burn off this excess vigor welled up inside you. There was a park a few blocks away from here and that seemed as good a place as any for your impromptu walk.

The night was still chill in comparison to what you preferred but it was nice, nippy but refreshing. You even thought you could smell the hints of spring in the air. Frankly you wouldn't be surprised if some flowers started blooming by the end of the week.

As you walked leisurely in the general direction of the park you allowed your own mind to wander. You always seemed to grow pensive after meals. Quiet and thoughtful now was one of the rare times you allowed your stoic poker face fade, but even then the best you could manage was a thin lipped grimace and frown before you began worrying at your bottom lip with your teeth. Bad habits die hard.

Your life was good but yet you still felt empty, directionless. Maybe you were broken, not sewn up right like the rest of your siblings, defective. Roxy lived this lifestyle like she was born to it (which she was, duh), slipping in like a fish to water once she awakened, and your twin Rose had it lucky too, falling in love with a vampire woman who would treat her as Rose and lover her as Rose, not just a pair of violet eyes that entrap and ensnare. And your older brother, you'd sometimes like to think that he too is like you, similar, broken, but even with those weak speculations you've noticed your still too different.

It wasn't easy for you when you awakened. Around the time that puberty kicked in for everyone else it did for you too, just not in the same way. You were young and it seemed within the blink of an eye you lost all the friends you had, but gained admirers instead. At first the attention was great and made you happy but soon after you began to doubt the sincerity of their feelings, so you did the only thing you could do—distance yourself, curl up in a ball and see who comes after you—problem was no one did. Hiding behind your sunglasses you shuffled your way through the rest of middle school, none but your sister as your company.

But bro had seen what you were doing and made it his personal project to see you not become the outcast that you would allow yourself to be. He acted as both father and brother to you after your dad died and helped you learn to hide those worries and fears, to act as if nothing is wrong beneath your perfected poker face. If no one saw you were sad then you weren't, if no one saw you in pain then you were fine. It wasn't perfect but it was what you needed to learn back then. It helped, being able to lie with a straight face, to smile and charm while feeling none of it. Tricks of the trade Dirk said, we all had to learn it.

Now many years later you were stronger, very much so, but still those childhood fears would gnaw at you when you weren't looking. How much you wouldn't give for a friendship, for a lover not bewitched for once. Heh, but that was too much to wish for and you knew it. You were broken and just couldn't work right with the parts given, so all you could do was to just to keep living as best you could.

Before you had even realized it your dark musing had led you inside the gates of the large city park faster than you had thought.

This night just felt so peaceful somehow, as if you weren't in the middle of a big city, that you were somewhere far away, away from yourself and who you were. You think for a moment to go check out the lake but no, those bubble brains would only annoy you with the mood you were in. It was just better for you just to walk among the tree covered areas, away from the sidewalks and the street lamps. Just, away.

To a rhythm all your own you walk to the beat of your footsteps, creating a song in your head. Eyes closed you loose yourself to the melody, hiding in a world just yours until you were forced back to reality. Which you were, in the most violent and unexpected way.

You don't remember too much. The clap of a spell igniting, the needle like tingle sweep across your skin, the roar of sound, and then the pain. You don't even remember what hurt first or in what way, just bright horrible pain and then blessed darkness as you fell into unconsciousness. You cant tell if it was minutes later or hours, but you had a vague recollection of hearing a voice afterward.

"Fuuuccckk. Please be a homeless person, pleases, please please."

"Uugghh, what do you do I do? Should I leave him here? Oh my godd, fuck me. Fuck my life."

"Fuck. Alright mister demon dude your coming home with me. Just don't kill me in the morning."

"John, this is the stupidest thing you've done in your whole life."

"I know."

* * *

The next time you awoke it was in a bed—a really comfortable bed—better than yours by a long shot. Still sleep stupid you pushed your face deeper into the soft comforter that covered the bed, breathing in the strange but pleasant scent while you battled waking up fully. It was no use. As your sense returned slowly the first thing you were aware of was the mild sore spots littering your body and the realization that this wasn't your bed, it wasn't even a pretty meals' bed—you had no idea where you were. Fucking great.

Your surging panic settled down a few levels once you actually got a good look at the bedroom. Movie posters lined the walls and discarded clothes lay where they apparently had fallen. At least it didn't look like a killers room, far from it, this place looked like a total dorks room. Though his taste in movies could kill you, Ghost Rider sucked balls.

Gathering up enough will you manage to work you way out of the amazingly comfortable bed. You check yourself for any injuries from last night. You guessed what had most likely happened was that you had fallen face fucking first into a crap demon destruction spell without noticing and got your ass handed back to you. The only reason you weren't currently a bloody unconscious mess was thankfully when you got the shit kicked out of you, you had happened to be filled up to your eyeballs in life energy and then some. All that excess power went to work immediately fixing you up and keeping you not dead. Not like you would of died from that spell. You're too cool to live and too badass to die.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

But that was enough time reminiscing about your recent near death experience, time to olie out of here, and preferably get something to eat, you're fucking starving. Whoops too bad you cant leave the room. You're not locked in, far from it, the door is bloody open. No its worse, a lock you can pick no problem, but a god damn magical barrier, yeah you're screwed.

But just because you were behind a barrier didn't mean you couldn't see what was behind it. And there he was, your apparent kidnapper. Really you think you could take him, hell a five year old could take him. Snoozing away on the couch you see a dude about your age with big dorky glasses, black hair, and what looked like an extreme case of beaver overbite. He looked—normal—oh but the big line of drool running down his chin was downright swoon worthy. But you'll think more about this dude later after you fix pressing matters, to get out from this damn barrier and find a bathroom, quick, then food. Lots of it.

So you do the only thing you can do in your impaired situation, you act like your awesome douche-self and call him names until he wakes up. You call him everything from being fat to mentioning his buck teeth, you even threaten to pee on his stuff if he doesn't let you out of here soon. All that but still no response. Finally a bit aggravated you actually shout and manage to shock him out of his coma-like sleep. Really though, watching him fall face first to the ground and flailing like a derp was well worth the wait.

Still stunned from his sleep you watch him groggily stand up and make his way to you. He eyed you warily with the bluest damn eyes you had ever seen, like if you didn't know any better _you_ could of thought he was a demon like you. But no, human through and through. You could smell it on him, you could smell everything. Not a virgin but apparently hadn't had sex in so long he might as well be, he smelled clean, like the mountain air in the country or a fresh spring breeze. You also caught the scent of Chinese food, yum.

After a moment you realize you had been staring at the shorter guy and that he was also giving you the eye in return. Fuck you have to say something, now, gotta be the first to say something, that's how you control the conversation.

Gotta go fast.

"So are you going to keep standing there ogling my face or are you going to finally let me out of here so I can go piss?"

Not the best thing to say but too late now. At least his reactions were amusing. You saw surprise switch to curiosity then flit to settle on annoyance. But damn if his annoyed frowny face wasn't cute, especially the way his teeth poked over his bottom lip and his eyebrows kitted together. It made you want to bother him more, too fun.

"You promise you wont do any bad things if I let you out?"

Pfft like what? Eat you? Crap, you kind of want to. Stop it Dave you're just hungry. Stop trying to eat the first cute boy you find. Also he probably knows what you are, like considering the demon ward he obviously put on his room to keep you in. Yeah most likely a good idea not to touch him.

"Yes ma'am, I wont destroy your shitty apartment nor call a horde'a demon bats to shit on your face, is that good enough for you?"

There was the face again. Damn him. Damn him and his cute mouth.

"I guess...but no need to be a dick about it."

"Shoot you try having a destruction spell try its damnedest to pull your guts out from your eyes and tell me how you feel the next morning in some strange dudes house. Who happens to also have a terrible choice in movies and actors, as is apparent from your wall of posters."

He really did, from the sheer amount of Nick Cage on his wall you could infer that the rest of his choice in movies also sucked. Right after that it seemed everything fell into place, the pair of you bickering like old friends on the quality of movies nothing more. You didn't exactly realize it at that moment but you had missed this feeling that you couldn't even name anymore.

Somewhere in the middle of you guys's back and forth he managed to yank off the sloppy seal that had held you in place. Really you wished you could just stand there in front of him all day but nature called, loudly. Rushing past the black haired boy you find yourself in the middle of his living room, nice but you don't care, bathroom now. Going off in what you hope is the direction of the nearest toilet you navigate through his apartment.

Luck was on your side thankfully and you found it on your first try. Completely ignoring the mirror you make a beeline for your porcelain dream and relieve yourself. Really, better than sex. Once done you actually make it to the mirror and fix yourself up. Cleaning blood and generally fixing everything where you could. There, you look the best you can in this situation—which means you look like a hot college stoner bum. Awesome. No, not really though.

As you walk back into the main room you manage to catch a glimpse of his reaction to a cleaned up you, yeah you knew you had that effect on people, he just couldn't help himself poor thing. No, not really though, you guessed he was only surprised at how not cut-up you were.

Wait, now you don't care anymore, food time.

"You got anything to eat? I'm starving."

"Yeah check the kitchen out, I'm gonna go change real quick."

"Thanks, but don't be surprised if there's nothing left when you come back."

Really, you might just eat everything. Your Dave battery was so low you were shocked you hadn't passed out yet, or jumped blue-eyes' bones. Either way shocked.

The kitchen is sadly bare of the excess amounts of food you would of wished for, but lucky you you find gold in the fridge—half eaten Chinese food, thank you Jesus. But just as you were about to go snooping for a fork you hear him yell across the apartment not to eat his leftover take-out. Fuck. Fine you'll just eat all his damn froot loops. See if he wants breakfast tomorrow.

You pick up a bowl only to put it down right after. Nope too small. Only after a bit searching you find a mixing bowl big enough for your wishes. It takes about half the milk to cover the loops in just the way you like it.

Finally food. Nutrition from ordinary food was vital to your survival as much as life energy was, but without that energy you could literally eat forever and never feel full, and in the end you would still die from starvation. But in the short term eating real food could at least hold off the nagging hunger until you could find a suitable meal to supplement you correctly.

Plopping on the couch you find the remote and flick to the most ironic thing you could find. My Little Pony won by a land slide. God you hate this show. But the ironic teaching drilled into you by your brother were still strong as ever. Tuning out the high singing voices you dig into your meal of kings, grateful for the ease in your gnawing hunger.

The guy who you still don't know the name of walks back into the room, he pauses for only a second before joining you on the couch. As if he didn't know what you were, like you were just some guy he had found. You still didn't know how to react to that.

Thankfully after a few minutes the show begins to roll its end credits and without pause you grab for the remote muting the TV. Heavy suffocating silence covers the room. You hate it. This awkward silence.

You try to speak a few times, opening your mouth only to close it again, only to repeat the action making you look like fish sucking up air. On your third try you actually manage to speak.

"So you obviously know, what I am right?"

"Uh, yeah, I do."

"So why did you grab me last night if you knew?"

"...Cuz I felt really bad for the state you where in and it was all my fault and it was the least I could do. Not much of a demon hunter now am I?"

A demon hunter? That was new. Not too many of those around, and when you do hear of them they're definitely going after bigger meaner prey than the likes of you and yours.

"So your the asshole who put up those fuckin spells that led me to get my ass handed back to me on a silver fucking platter, huh?"

"Yeah that was me."

He even did a little snigger afterward, pulling a tight lipped smile that made his buck teeth all the more adorably prominent. Even if you were mad at him—which you weren't, it was your fault for falling for his trap—after that dorky smile you know it would have been impossible.

"...Whatever its cool man. I should of kept my wits about me and realized I was being drawn by a damn attraction spell."

After a long pause he finally spoke up again.

"So whats your name? Where are you from?"

What? Why would you he? Don't you want me to leave, get out of your hair for good?

"You, wanna know my name?"

"Yeah! Whats wrong with that?"

"Nothin, the names Dave and I was born in Texas, but I moved to Georgia bout 14."

Just Dave from the south, just a country boy. Not Dave Strider, not yet.

"Georgia? Why Georgia?"

"You know the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia? Yeah Bro thought it was hilarious and giggled the whole damn drive there, so fuckin proud of himself."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah, an older brother an sister: bro's a dick and Roxy's a drunkard, I also have a sister Rose who's doing whatever the fuck she does with her vampire girlfriend. Now enough about me, whats your deal?"

The quicker you get off the subject of yourself the better, preferably you did not want him knowing much more than the basic minimum about you and your family.

"Oh, um, my names John Egbert, and I used to live in Washington state and moved down here only like a week ago. Uh, I have an older sister Jane, and I lived with my two cousins: Jade who's my age and Jake who is more Janeys age. My father mostly raised all of us up together and taught us how to be demon hunters and stuff. But as you can tell I'm not very good at it."

John Egbert. That's a stupid name. Poor kid. With that last name and those teeth you wouldn't of been surprised if he'd been the butt of a few jokes in his younger years. Though being raised with that many relatives is sure to deter any type of bully. You know, having two sisters and a brother who enjoy to fuck shit up for barely any reason find out some jock was talking shit about you, yeah it only too two in a half days for him to be traumatized and well on his way to transferring schools.

"Heh no shit."

"Shut up Dave your the one who got caught in my trap!"

"Well the only reason I got caught in your shitty trap was that it was such a piece of crap I couldn't even recognize it."

"Your just angry you got your ass beat by my wards."

"Yes so angry, so infuriatingly angry you cannot believe. I may even go grimdark over here with this level of enraged emotion I am having. But look lets stop with the introduction OK, I'm still hungry as fuck and I do believe you owe me dinner and some shit because you're the cause of the state I am currently in at the moment. Deal?"

This was fun, way too much fun for you to stop now. One day with John and you'll leave. You promise. You'll be but another dream and disappear once again from someones life. Just—one day, to live at least the semblance of normality.

"What? I have to take you out to dinner? What like a date? And you just ate all my fruit loops, how in the hell are you still hungry? What are you a black hole?"

"Yes a date Egbert, I demand the most ironic of dates. With dinner and a movie and all your feeble mind can think of. That is if you even can, which just for the record, I think you don't have the lady balls to try to do something that ironically awesome."

"I do too have the balls, big dude balls, not lady balls. And I will take you on the most ironic date-venture ever!"

* * *

Before you and John got this date-venture underway properly your incessant bitching made him take you to McDonalds so you would shut up. He made sure to tell you this was _not_ the dinner part of the date. After that was done and over with John took you to an cliché mini-golf place called Alternia, somewhere you would be apt to got with your twelve year old cousin or something. Yes, a good ironic choice, one point for Egderp.

First thing was first. The mini-golf. The both of you promised each other to take the game as seriously as possible, even with your pink and purple putters and matching golf balls.. Like taking extra care to line up your shots and even keeping score correctly. But without much surprise the champion and victor was you, because your awesome.

After that you guys went inside to battle it out again in the arcade area for bitches and tickets, mostly tickets. But after many long and difficult battles the war was won by John, though you will say you were a close second. At the prize counter both of you were lucky enough to have enough boonbucks to buy the stuffed animal you each had your eyes on. John picked out a rad red crocodile in pointy anime shades creepily like your brothers and you choose a yellow derp looking salamander with what you guessed was a spit bubble in its mouth.

It seemed the pair of you thought alike because not two seconds after each of you were handed the chosen plush toy were they shoved to the person opposite of either of you. You couldn't help it, you smiled, but at least not before trying to smother John to a yellow felt caused death.

Last activity on the list for this place was the swan-boat ride in the crap man made pond on the grounds. The water smelled like trash and the boats threatened break the whole time but it was the most ironic fun, paddling around in circles and fighting each other on the petals, while each of you held on to your new stuffed toy.

After that oddly fun outing now was the food part of the date, and you were more than ready for it. The cereal and burgers from earlier had warn off leaving you once again starving. Trying to live up to his ironic date-venture he promised you John choose to take you to a diner not too far away and insisted for ironic purposes that you two share the extra large super shake he ordered.

Individual burgers were consumed and finished, with the shake being devoured by you in the end. While inside the diner you both took that opportunity to chat and get to know each other more. Never once bringing up demons and the like.

As you had guessed you and him were about the same age and liked a lot of the same things. And a lot of the not so same things. You really began to admire John just a bit once you found out he played piano, a real real instrument. Not like you, yeah your turntables took a bit a time to get used to but overall not that difficult. But to play the piano, and play it well, that took years and years of practicing and perfecting, diligence and persistence. Two traits you sadly lacked but desperately desired.

The moment you offhandedly mentioned your singing John immediately jumped on it, begging you for some sort of example, a small show just for him. You obviously said no, fuck that you are not singing in the middle of a damn diner, your angelic voice would go wasted among this filth. That last part you said a bit too loudly, you guys left soon after, with a big tip too.

The last leg of the date and John said we _have_ to go see a movie to make this the perfect most ironic bro-date ever.

Which it already was, but god do his choice in movies suck. So you sat through an hour and a half of bad character development, plot twists too cliché even for you, flat characters, and a romantic plot so dull and boring you could of enjoyed yourself more bloody and unconscious back on Johns bed.

At least you had a super extra large tub of popcorn and a drink of coke big enough to drown a small elephant in, yeah you were content enough to just about not kill yourself. Good enough.

After your third comment John made you promise in a hushed voice to shut your dirty whore mouth Bruce Willis is talking Dave so shut the hell up. Yeah you kept you peace. But that didn't mean you continued to do so after that disgrace they called a movie ended. You mentioned that part a lot—about the movie being a disgrace, many many times.

Night had arrived and comfortably settled long after you both left the theater and arrived back to Johns apartment. It was surreal, a demon and its hunter, two people not meant to interact beyond killing one another, the very same beings that had just spent the entire day together just hanging out and having fun. Truly inconceivable that he didn't kill you the very moment he found you.

But back to you and John awkwardly standing in silence right in font of his place. He shifted a bit, foot to foot before he finally decided to turn to open the door. He threw a look over his shoulder his half dorky smile partly visible.

"So was the date ir—"

John never finished what he was about to say, mostly because you stopped him, with your mouth, on his. If this was going to be your final moment with John you wanted just one last thing.

His lips were rough and chapped against your own but to you they felt perfect. In the initial rush for the kiss you pinned him against the door, effectively trapping him beneath you, and now you used that advantage to press yourself deeper into him, mashing your lips tight against his own.

With that second heavier advance you felt John go almost limp with shock. You even thought you heard the jingle clatter of his keys falling to the floor, abandoned and forgotten. Now was your chance. With practiced skill you danced your tongue across his bottom lip, begging entrance. You asked and you did receive as John parted his lips no more than slightly in response but more than enough for you.

Diving like a dehydrated man to water you plunge into his mouth and you finally taste him. Not in the physical sense, not with your tongue, no, you taste John. Plain and simple, his energy, his existence, all uniquely John. And those very facts culminated into what made him the most breathtaking person you have ever tasted.

Like shade under the tree on a breezy day, sunlight dappling on your skin—peace, contentment, happiness—that was what he tasted like. He tasted like a place to call home. Something you never knew you craved.

And crave it you did. You kissed even deeper than you though you could, your tongue brushing against Johns own, you purposeful in comparison to the other stunned appendage.

More, you desired more, you wanted John under you, flushed faced and wanting. You wanted to hear every sound he could possibly make, especially with his mouth wrapped around your—Fuck! Stop-stop-stop!

Just as fast as you had started you pulled away from John as if he were poison. You did say this was your only and last day with him, pretending to be normal, well at least now he'll never forget you. Great way to remember someone right? Gay demon dude kisseing you and then mysteriously leaves forever, awesome.

You turn your attention back to the boy trapped in front of you. His glasses are askew and his face was flushed to the tips of his ears. He has an indignantly confused look on his face as he thrusts up the back of his hand to hide his mouth from you. You even think he was shaking a bit.

The patented Strider mask fell right back into place as you stared down at him as ypu licked just the barest amount of your lips with your tongue.

"Now that, was a meal. Thanks for the great date Egbert. See ya soon."

That was a lie. If things went the way you hoped they'd go you and John would never meet again. You would just be the sexy bastard devil that got the upper hand on John the Demon Hunter and John would become a dream for you. The blissful what if.

What if you were human.

What if you guys were friends.

What if someone could actually fall in love with you.

Would he?

You stoop down to pick up the little crock plushie you had gotten from John—the only physical reminder that this day had even happened—and try to walk away as best you can, back straight, head held high. Nothing to give away that you were leaving someone that had given you one of the happiest days you've had in a long time, nothing to show that you wished you didn't have to.

Making your way onto the busy city street you close your eyes and lean against the nearest buildings rough brick walls. You're far flung from the religious type but you find yourself praying that if you're ever reborn and could meet John again, let you be human, just stupid dorky Dave Strider that likes ironic things and preserved creatures, sick beats and bad comics.

Anything but you.

* * *

Hi Everyone I just wanted to remind you this is a parallel oneshot to my other story Better the Devil you Know which you should definitely read to see more John/Dave goodness and see where the rest of their story goes.


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